Guilt......

Ahhh guilt, an itchy scratchy wet blanket (it stinks!) we drape it around our shoulders and it makes everything a drag, every time you become aware of it it gets heavier. It saps what energy we have left and then we decide that rather than carry this vile, weighty, uncomfortable blanket around we will just hide; that's it! Stay in, don't go out and then you won't need to look anyone in the eye or trip over the edge of the blanket when and earlier excuse (lie!) is called upon! 

Guilt serves no purpose, nada, zip, nowt, none. It's only function is to make us feel worse than we already do. 

There are ways to avoid guilt, a few simple things that can help stop the wet blanket get any heavier, guilt will always be hovering, waiting for weakness but you should arm yourself against it taking over your life.

Firstly, identify what makes you feel guilty.

Secondly, stop any guilty feelings over anything you can not personally control. This includes...

Other people's behaviour.

Death.

Illness.

World events beyond your reach.

The millions of people/animals/whatever you can not possibly help in your life time.

Past events. 

Thirdly, think about what you can do to prevent the situations you are in control of creating guilty feelings.

Lastly, act on it or make peace with it not being a priority and leave it behind.

An example of a guilt inducing moment in my own life?

 Okay, birthdays, I am useless at remembering birthdays. Face book is great because it reminds me of most people's birthdays. However, I didn't send a card! I never got round to it! I'm so bad, they must be heartbroken! They will think I don't care! Oh cripes, I'm crap, I shouldn't be allowed out, I am a useless friend and a bad human bean :-( 

GUILTY!!! =miserable :-( 

So what can I do? 

Important birthdays get put in my Callander and I set reminders 1 week, 2days and 24 hours before the day.

I have come to terms with the fact that I do not make the time (note that! Make rather than have!) to buy, write and send a card. This tells me, if I am honest with myself, that sending a card is low priority to my life/brain. So, I try and make time to text, email, message or even call the person who's birthday it is if I am not going to see them. I try and make the time to write an individual message rather than a generic 'happy birthday!' 

And finally, if I forget or I find out I missed it after the day I send belated wishes. 

Then I give myself a nod and a wink and say, you are doing the best you can! 

If I feel the guilt sneaking in then it is a flag that I am somewhere in the depths of me unhappy about how I dealt with the situation and I could be better. And then, guess what? I try (and keep trying) to be better. 

So I will revise my earlier assessment, guilt does serve a purpose. It is an alarm bell to ourselves that the way we behaved/behave does somehow not sit well with our image of either ourselves or the individual we are striving to be. It is a chance to alter how we are to become a better person.

I am a work in progress! 

TTFN x